Parenting Support in Vancouver, BC
Let’s face it, parenting is hard. Sometimes acknowledging the challenges of being a parent can feel like you are complaining about your much-loved children. Sure, we can joke about how hard it is to raise them, but there is very nearly a taboo against actually acknowledging how very demanding, annoying, and challenging being a parent often is.
There are not many safe places where you can freely discuss and process your challenges, your mixed feelings, the contradictions between your intense love for your kids and your sometimes intense desire to get far away from them.
Here some typical struggles parents grapple with and signs that you could benefit from reaching out for help:
Feeling angry at your children, then feeling guilty about being angry
A sense of loss for your life before children
Noticing that you are lashing out at your children
Feeling the impulse to hit, rage at, or over-punish your child
Wanting to avoid being around your kids
Feeling more irritated or annoyed than usual
Difficulty setting boundaries and limitations with your child
High anxiety and emotion about your children and their future
Feeling guilty about not being a perfect parent
Being overly permissive because you don’t know what else to do
You might find yourself thinking things like:
“I am not a good enough parent. I should be doing better.”
“Why did I ever have kids?”
“I am not cut our for this.”
“I am a lame/terrible/unfit/bad parent.”
“Why can’t I be better at this? I’m behaving in ways I never thought I would.”
“I feel like I have lost myself.”
“I don’t deserve my children.”
“I am always so worried about my kids.”
“I am always so stressed out!”
You may also notice things like:
Frequent feelings of guilt
Feeling anxious about being good enough
Being hyper-critical of yourself
Thinking about past mistakes over and over
Trying to over-compensate to make up for some past action toward you child
Being angry at yourself for making a mistake, yelling at your child, or being impatient
Avoiding your kids because you don’t feel up to being around them
Comparing yourself to other parents who seem to have it all together
Feeling like being a parent is a burden
Feeling ill-equipped for the struggles of being a parent
Feeling ashamed of past mis-steps
The result is feeling powerless, unsure about how to make things better, or feeling like a failure at being a parent. You might feel worried for your child’s future as you notice behaviours that upset you. You might be dismayed at your own feelings about being a parent. You might be having increasing conflict with your partner about your differing parenting strategies or values. You are not alone in these struggles.
I can help.
Not only have I been a parent, but I am currently facilitating parenting workshops that help parents learn ways to parent that feel better. I have personal experience with being a single parent, co-parenting, and being in a blended family.
I can help with:
General parenting struggles
Mixed feelings about being a parent
Feeling annoyed, frustrated, or hopeless about your child
Guilt about how you feel about parenting
Feelings of anxiety about your children
Working on not repeating patterns you learned in your family of origin
Challenges with blended families
Friction between parents about raising their kids
Friction between co-parents whom are no longer together
Breaking-up amicably with less harm to your children
Learning about coaching your child about their emotions
Feelings of loss of your life before children
Feeling disconnected from your child
Learning about child development
Parenting is a hard job! But, as I am sure you know, it is also rewarding. (We should all be taught parenting skills in high-school! I wish.)
Parenting is challenging for all of us, and can be more so depending on your particular child or your particular upbringing. You can increase your awareness about how your past influences your parenting today, and make changes. You can increase your knowledge about parenting and about parenting your particular child.
You can feel better and more empowered in how you parent your kids. Reach out for support by beginning counselling with me in Vancouver, BC today.