Every therapist will probably eventually encourage you to try some grounding activities. Grounding is that helpful. It is that universally needed. It is that important.
And yet, people often roll their eyes at it. It sounds too fluffy, too flaky. They might think, how can something so flaky be of any help to me? Then they try it. They find out it is not flaky at all. They find out, from first hand experience, that grounding can be revolutionary.
I suggest to you that grounding is an essential skill for being a healthy human. Grounding is a tool you can use to help yourself when you are in distress. Whether minor or major, grounding can help you get through tough times. Grounding is the skill of being able to calm yourself on purpose. Grounding techniques can help you soothe yourself when feeling stressed, overwhelmed or panicked. You can use them in response to the big crises as well as everyday stressors.
Grounding is simple, but not always easy. Grounding makes sense, and yet it is easy to forget all about it. Grounding is important, and yet dismissed by cynics. If you forget why grounding is important, come back and read this again. If you forget how to do it, this article will remind you. If you want to convince your friend, your mom, or your lover to try out grounding too, send this article over to them — I will try to convince them why grounding is a critical tool in everyone’s how-to-be-a-healthy-human tool box.
What is grounding?
Grounding is any activity that helps your body calm down a few notches, allowing you to come back in to the present moment, and feel more empowered.
Why do we need grounding?
If you are a human you probably already know the answer to this question. Have you even been overwhelmed? How about worried? Ever been upset? Have you ever been angry? Have you been so stressed you can’t make decisions clearly? How about anxious? Any memories of being scared? If you have never experienced any of these uncomfortable states, then you might as well stop reading — this article is for humans, not for robots. Grounding might help in any of these types of troubled states. When we are in distress, even a little bit of help is, well, ... helpful.
When you experience threat, whether real or perceived, your nervous system sets off the alarm bells. It's saying, oh no! We are under threat! In our earliest days of human evolution, the threat could have been being chased by a saber-toothed tiger, today it could be an upcoming test, a mean comment, or even your own thoughts. (Or a tiger. That is still a possibility.) Your body is warning you: danger, danger! And we need that warning to help us avoid danger! Except, when we don’t.
Our brain wants us to be safe more than it wants us to be happy, so it will sound the alarm even when it does not need to because it does not want to take any chances and miss an actual emergency. When the alarm goes off unnecessarily, returning to baseline of calmness takes time. Grounding helps with this transition back to baseline. Grounding helps communicate to the body: it is ok to calm down now. I want to calm down on purpose. Let’s chill out a little. Grounding is a way to help you stabilize your intense emotions, and soothe yourself back to a less distressed state.
Grounding, however, is not magic.
It does not prevent the uncomfortable states. Some people will find grounding activities you do on your own is not enough and may need additional help by working with a therapist. But grounding often does reduce the distress, bring the feelings down a notch or two to a place where you might be able to think more clearly and feel more empowered. Grounding can help bring you back into your body, help you feel a little calmer, and more present. Sometimes feeling just a little calmer makes all the difference.
Let’s get into the knitty gritty of some grounding activities
Grounding is personal — be sure experiment and try out a few different grounding activities in various kinds of stressful situations in your life to find what works for you. Settle on 2-3 that you use consistently in stressful moments. Make grounding one of your life practices that you can rely on to calm yourself down on purpose when you need it.
Grounding activities:
Hand on your heart:
Take a few minutes (even 30 seconds can help!) to sit quietly with your hand on your heart, while breathing slowly, and with your eyes closed. Turn your intention inward, and notice what’s happening, without judgement. What is happening with your thoughts? What physical sensations are present? Name the emotions you notice. Just notice what is happening.
5 senses — Engage all your senses:
Sight: list things you can see — items, colours, a scene around you
Smell: notice things you can smell — cut grass, scents, fresh air, whatever is around you
Touch: describe things you can touch — the chair, the fabric of your clothing, a glass, whatever is within reach.
Hearing: name things you can hear — what is around you? Car in the distance, your meowing cat, the refrigerator hum, etc.
Taste: can you taste anything? Carrying mints can help with this one. (Who wants to notice the taste of our own tongue?)
Ideally, you will say these things out loud, but if you don’t have privacy, say them descriptively in your mind.
Breathing:
Box breathing is an easy one to remember, and is used by the Navy Seals to remain calm in crisis situations, so we know it works. The counts are all even, like equal sides of a box, hence the name, box breathing:
breath in for a count of 3
hold for a count of 3
breath out for a count of 3
hold of a count of 3
repeat
Extend to counts of 4 to lengthen and slow it down even further.
Is the counting too much? Just take some slow breaths where the exhale is longer than the inhale. There are many breathing exercises that work for grounding, google them and find a couple to experiment with.
Body awareness:
Start by taking 5 deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the lips
Move your face around, stretching facial muscles
wiggle your feet on the ground and stretch our toes out
notice the pressure of your feet on the floor and stamp them a few times
clench and unclench your hands making tight fists, and then rub your hands quickly together feeling the heat and noticing the sounds the rubbing makes
press your palms into each other and hold the pressure for 30 seconds or so, feeling the muscles in your arms flexing
stretch your arms above your head, reaching way up, stretching your wrists, then relax them at your sides
take 5 more slow breaths, noticing the increase in relaxation
Ice:
Hold an ice cube or splash cold water on your face: : The cold will cause you to focus on the the physical sensation and come back into the present.
Literally lie down on the ground.
On the actual earth if possible. Feel your body contacting the floor or ground. Feel the heaviness. (Why this is different from lying on your bed and the couch, I am not sure. But it does. Someone should do some research on this.)
State change: Do something physical that changes your state:
Take a quick walk around the block. A short run. Do 20 squats or a bunch of push ups. Dance around your living room to loud, fun music. This brings you into your body. And might even be fun! Eventually.
Hug:
You can do most of these on your own, but this one requires a person you feel safe with and care for by. Hug for at least 20 seconds. Good stuff happens. If you don’t have another person, hugging yourself can be surprisingly comforting. Hug yourself hard and remind yourself by saying to yourself: I have you. I am here for you.
Walking:
Go for a mindful walk at a relaxed pace, noticing your footsteps, using your senses to notice your surroundings as you walk. It is mindful when you slow down and notice. When you get caught up again in your thoughts or stress, gently bring your attention back to noticing your footsteps, surroundings, or your breathing.
What is it like to do a grounding activity?
Well, first of all, it is super easy to forget all about it as even a possibility. It takes practice to even remember to give them a try when challenged by a stressful situation! That's what stressful situations do — they take up all our attention, and usually feel quite overwhelming.
When you do remember to use a grounding activity, you might be certain that it won’t help: What I am feeling is too big and intense!! Grounding can’t possibly help!
And that is exactly when they can be most helpful. The more you do it, the more automatic grounding will become, the more effective grounding will be at helping you return to a baseline of calmness.
There are many more ideas for grounding that are a simple google search away. Which ones you choose do not matter, what matters is that you find some grounding activities that work for you. The best grounding activities are the ones you will do.
As a normal human being, you will go through tough, stressful times just like the rest of us will. Grounding might help you get through them with a little less distress.